Anne of Green Gables, Chapters Nine to Eleven

In which Mrs. Rachel Lynde and Anne are terribly rude to each other, Anne enjoys apologizing perhaps a bit too much, and we all learn of the importance of puffed sleeves, and not for the last time let me tell you.



Oh, we've got a delightful illustration for this set of chapters, of Anne flying into a temper at Mrs. Lynde's... critique of Anne's appearance. This is not the last time we will see Anne's temper illustrated.

5:08 - "'I hate you,' she cried in a choked voice, stamping her foot on the floor."

Quick couple of notes: Mrs. Lynde had suffered from the grippe, which I've seen and heard a ton in old media but had to look up to figure out precisely what it is. Turns out it's just another word for the flu. At the end of Chapter 9, when Marilla leaves "this Parthian shaft to rankle in Anne's stormy bosom" (and BOY does that sentence come across differently out of context) she's referring to a tactic of the Parthians, an Iranian people known for their archery, to feign retreat and then fire while running away. Thus, a metaphorical "Parthian shaft" is getting that one last verbal jab in before leaving. I noticed, though, that upon googling the phrase, an awful lot of the results refer directly to its usage here in Anne of Green Gables, so I wonder just how widespread an idiom it was.

UPDATED 10/3/13: Well, drat, somehow I completely missed that there was a whole 'nother illustration in this section! Here, we get to see Anne walking down the church aisle, with the wreath of flowers on her hat:

29:55 - "They looked at her and whispered to each other."

Note that the other ladies do indeed have puffed sleeves. This will come up a surprising amount.


If you would like to read along, the text can be found at Project Gutenberg. No reading ahead, though! 

Anne of Green Gables, Chapter Six to Eight

In which Marilla saves Anne from a fate worse than death, metaphorically, and discovers that Anne is little better than a heathen, and in which our narrator is briefly distracted by the mention of an Old Friend.



Marilla mentions borrowing the Peep of Day series to begin Anne's religious instruction. The Peep of Day ("or, a series of the Earliest Religious Instruction the Infant Mind is capable of receiving, with verses illustrative of the subjects") by Favell Lee Mortimer was published in 1845 and, wow, looks like someone's kept it in print as of at least 2000. A quick look through it shows that it's just buckets of fun:

God has covered your bones with flesh. Your flesh is soft and warm. In your flesh there is blood. God has put skin outside, and it covers your flesh and blood like a coat. Now all these things, the bones, and flesh, and blood, and skin, are called your body. How kind of God it was to give you a body. I hope that your body will not get hurt. [page 17 at that link up there]

"Yeah, sure would be a shame if somethin' were to happen to that nice, warm body that God made for ya, wouldn't it? You just keep that in mind, an' I'll see ya at church on Sunday, yeah?"

Also, I am tickled that the second time I get to use the "tedious moralizing" tag directly references the scene I created it for. I wish I'd planned it that way. Based on the fact that most of our books will be coming from the nineteenth century, I've a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of this tag.

Less entertainingly, the "chromo" that Anne is enraptured by is a chromolithograph, was basically just a multicolored printed image.

And finally, this installment's cover is that of the specific edition I'm reading from is a 1987 Bantam Classic paperback with a cover photo by Rob McEwan, which appears to be a tie-in edition for the 1985 CBC miniseries starring Megan Follows. I got it, along with the rest of the series, from a used book store for about $2.50 each, so there's more where this came from!

This is the one, if you remember from the first installment, that says up there at the top "The most beloved, beguiling, and timeless heroine in all of fiction," which, way to oversell it for me, guys, thanks.


If you would like to read along, the text can be found at Project Gutenberg. No reading ahead, though! 

Anne of Green Gables, Chapters Three to Five

In which it is Marilla's turn to be surprised, Anne discovers that she is not a boy, Matthew states an opinion, and Marilla learns of Anne's past.



And now we get to the first of the illustrations in the book, portraying Anne's first meeting with Marilla, and capturing one of the many, many moments this book will contain where I will attempt to not giggle when reading the word "ejaculated."

0:52 - "Matthew Cuthbert, who's that?" Marilla does not beat around the bush.

If you would like to read along, the text can be found at Project Gutenberg. No reading ahead, though! 

Anne of Green Gables, Chapters One and Two

In which Mrs. Rachel Lynde is nosy, Marilla Cuthbert is brisk, Matthew Cuthbert is awkward, and the as-yet-unnamed girl is terribly excited, and in which our narrator gets to talk very fast.



There are illustrations from the original printing, attributed to M.A. and W.A.J. Claus, but only eight for the entire book. None of them go with these two chapters -- except one of them is technically the frontispiece, but depicts a scene from much later, so I'll be including it there -- so all I've got for you is a couple of quick notes: The "Barnado [sic] boy" Marilla is referring to would be one of the Barnardo boys or "Home children," poor boys shipped over from England as essentially indentured servants. The girl's dress is made from wincey, a material that was cheap, warm, and tough, but coarse and definitely not pretty. I suppose we can also include the term "orphan asylum" to the list of things you don't hear much anymore, but I'm supposing you all can figure out its meaning on your own.

You know what, just to keep the visual interest up, any time there are no illustrations to go with a given installment, I'll post the covers of different editions of the book. Up there, then, we're starting out with the cover to the original 1908 edition of Anne of Green Gables. While not credited in the book itself, this original cover portrait was apparently the work of one George Gibbs [PDF link].

In other news, I feel I must apologize on behalf of the year 1908 to the Irish, the French, and the Arab nations. They... didn't know any better, I guess?


If you would like to read along, the text can be found at Project Gutenberg. No reading ahead, though! 

"A Scandal in Bohemia," by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

In which Mr Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson engage in Royal Intrigue, and in which our narrator promptly forgets his forswearing of British Accents, acquitting himself "Passably," yet manages a German accent "Most Atrociously," or "Perhaps Russian?"



Sidney Paget's illustrations are not quite as well-known anymore as John Tenniel's ones for Alice, but they still helped create the visual image of Holmes that continues to this day:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapters Ten to Twelve

In which our heroine is entertained by the Mock Turtle, observes a trial of Dubious Legality, is called to present evidence and Hulks Out, before Awakening to her sister musing on the Nature of Childhood, and in which our narrator insists you can skip certain parts Without Offense, and breaks the fourth wall Rather Improperly.



Once again, the illustrations (specifically, the frontispiece) are specifically mentioned in the text:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapters Eight and Nine

In which our heroine finally enters the little garden, where she sees some Card Tricks, threats of Mass Executions which are stymied by the Pre-Disembodied Head of the Cat, whereupon she re-encounters the Duchess in a more Pleasant though Didactic Temper, and then is introduced to a Gryphon and a Mock Turtle who share some Puns Most Terrible.



You'll need the Tenniel illustrations for this one, as one is actually mentioned in the text:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapters Six and Seven

In which our heroine encounters a Well-Seasoned Baby and presumably decides to Never Have Children, whereupon she meets the ones Everyone Has Been Waiting For: a most peculiar Cat, and a Tea Party Most Mad (yet not as mad as some); and in which our narrator Tries His Best to do neither a bad Sterling Halloway nor a bad Ed Wynn impression.



And then of course are the Tenniel illustrations:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapters Four and Five

In which our heroine plays house, discovers she may have a Drinking Problem, encounters a Caterpillar to whom the 1960s owe much, imitates a Serpent in a manner for which we are grateful there are No Illustrations, and finally learns to regulate her height, mycologically.



And don't forget about the Tenniel illustrations!

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapters One to Three

In which our heroine follows the white rabbit down the rabbit hole, shrinks and grows in an attempt to enter a garden, insults her friend Mabel, swims in her own tears, engages in a race, and continually offends and frightens a mouse and several birds; and in which our narrator begins his podcasting career without even attempting a British accent, which is likely "For the Best," and apologizes for his atrocious French pronunciation.



No version of Alice is complete without illustrations. There have been many over the years, including at least a few in the public domain that I could use. However, by far the most iconic are the original illustrations by John Tenniel, closely supervised by Mr. Carroll himself. I'll be presenting the appropriate illustrations along with each post, matched up with the proper time in the recording: